Should I Stay Or Should I Go?!

[PhotoGav]

So, I have a house in Southern Italy (well, shared between my wife and her three siblings, not permanently inhabited since the passing of my mother-in-law) sitting empty except for the occasional holiday visit. It's only small, but has a flat roof where I have spent many a good hour lying on a sun lounger at night marvelling at the beauty of the heavens.

Here's the Clear Outside current forecast for my Wiltshire home:

And here's the forecast for the house in Italy:

Can anybody tell me why I shouldn't just pack up everything and move myself, my wife and two children and all my Astro gear out there....?!

[Kropster]

Just make sure to ask the wife and kids before you buy the tickets!

[Beulah]

GO!!!

As long as you can find employment or have enough to live on....

[PhotoGav]

Just make sure to ask the wife and kids before you buy the tickets!

Ha ha, lol ! Wife is out in Italy right now and my daughter has always wanted to move out there. My son is the only one who wants to stay here!

You have to dream......

[kev]

Er, are there any jobs there?

Sent from my iPhone so excuse the typos!

[swag72]

Having taken the plunge myself  - I see absolutely no reason to at least contemplate it

Seriously though, if you are thinking about it I'd want to be absolutely sure on the following things.

1) Could I afford to live there? The chances are that the Italians are little different to the Spanish and the chances of a non native getting a job over an Italian is really pretty remote. I would only consider the move if there was absolutely no pressure at all on my need to work in order to put food on the table.

2) No mortgage or rent to pay - Puts an additional stress on probably less money than you are used to in UK - Sounds like that's covered in your case.

3) Healthcare - What's it like and can you get it? Insurance is expensive. We originally had to swallow a payment of 180 euros a month for our health care, now thanks to the EU that is now free!! But at any age, it's a consideration.

4) Family - I'm sure that your son will grow to love it.

5) Language - Not sure how covered that is, but I have learnt how we take the ability to communicate utterly for granted. It has really made me appreciate the ability to communicate.

Just a couple of thoughts - I don't know how serious you are..... but your never know what's round the corner

Red tape ................ Italy is renowned for the stuff

I have found in life that we usually regret things we didn't try, whereas those things that we did and didn't work out we chalk up to experience. Life is too short to live with regrets and doubts about 'what if I'd moved to Italy'.........

[happy-kat]

Is your son old enough to make a reasoned why or just being opposite to his sister

[Knight of Clear Skies]

If you stay there could be difficulties, but if you go those problems could be approximately doubled in magnitude.*

(* - With apologies to Joe Strummer.)

Sounds like a great opportunity but what do your wife and children think about the idea? In the meantime make sure you time any visits for when the Moon is down.

Edit - I see you've answered that while I had the thread open to type a reply.

[PhotoGav]

Interesting thoughts folks.

It's an almost serious question, if I were actually brave enough to carry through the option to move there!

It is my wife's homeland. We have been together for 19 years and my Italian is pretty good, so communication would be fine, language wise. Though my ability to communicate is fairly suspect whatever the language!!!

The irony is that we have discussed the idea of moving to Italy since we met and Mara (my wife) came to England. We even moved out there about 12 years ago, but decided to come back after five months when Mara became pregnant, to let my parents enjoy there first grandchild. It was going to be grandchild number 10 for my in laws! Job prospects etc are 'not as good as in England' - now is that really true and who wants to work anyway?! I've always just wanted to make beautiful photographs - that's not a job really though, so making money has always crept back in. So we have remained in England. My poor wife suffered the loss of both parents from a far, lots of trips back and forth and thankfully she was always in the right place at the right time. Now they aren't there anymore I've come round to the idea of actually moving there... Partly due to the weather! Ironically, the chances are we can live the same distant dying parents dramas again with my ageing mum & dad here.

Anyway, it is one of those cases of a pipe dream that perhaps, however crazy, stupid, un-sensible and riddled with potential problems, shouldn't be passed by...

It just seems crazy though...

Thank you for indulging my need for therapy!

[PhotoGav]

Is your son old enough to make a reasoned why or just being opposite to his sister

He is 11 1/2, so old enough to reason. He has just started at secondary school and loves it and has a great circle of friends.

Starting again is a frightening prospect for him.

[Peter Drew]

I have always gone for pipe  dreams and so far have achieved two. Make sure you have a reasonable returns ability if things don't work out. You seem to have the basic ingredients for a successful venture. My sole concern is that you say the house is small. 

[Scott]

Just a thought, but how would your wifes sibblings feel about you living in their inheritance? as youve pointed out, you only really own 25% of it. Doesn't stop you dreaming though does it

[Stargazer33]

I have found in life that we usually regret things we didn't try, whereas those things that we did and didn't work out we chalk up to experience. Life is too short to live with regrets and doubts about 'what if I'd moved to Italy'.........

Now there is a philosophy to live by! If only we were brave enough to follow it.

[bish]

I have to say that I love going abroad but any longer than 3 months or so and I want to come back. Having said that I have a friend who has been spending a lot of time in Italy and just bought a house over there as he likes it so much. I believe he intends to make the permanent move as soon as he can.

[ollypenrice]

I made the move - in my case to France. I knew from my first French visit, at the age of about ten, that the English climate wasn't for me. As a teacher I always chucked my bike on a plane at Easter and headed south. Spain, France, Cyprus, anywhere Mediterranean, and the sheer relief of pedalling away in sunshine was beyond belief. I remember fighting an ice blizzard at East Midlands to catch the plane and being in shorts and short sleeves at the other end.

I would also, now, find it very hard to live in light pollution, not just because of the astronomy but because there is something dismal about the artificiality of it. Like trees and cliffs and rivers and lakes, darkness is natural. It should be there at night.

Olly

[JamesF]

He is 11 1/2, so old enough to reason. He has just started at secondary school and loves it and has a great circle of friends.

Starting again is a frightening prospect for him.

I can very much empathise with this.  I went to six different schools between the ages of four and twelve and it was pretty tough, especially the later moves where most children had long-established friendships and as the outsider (and a somewhat shy and reserved one at that) it made things quite tough.

I'd really love to move elsewhere now, but I'm very unwilling to put my children through the same sort of experience, particularly as I see much in my son that I recognise in me at the same age.  We might well jump once they're done with school though.

James

[bish]

I made the move - in my case to France. I knew from my first French visit, at the age of about ten, that the English climate wasn't for me. As a teacher I always chucked my bike on a plane at Easter and headed south. Spain, France, Cyprus, anywhere Mediterranean, and the sheer relief of pedalling away in sunshine was beyond belief. I remember fighting an ice blizzard at East Midlands to catch the plane and being in shorts and short sleeves at the other end.

 

I would also, now, find it very hard to live in light pollution, not just because of the astronomy but because there is something dismal about the artificiality of it. Like trees and cliffs and rivers and lakes, darkness is natural. It should be there at night.

 

Olly

Just changed my mind. I want to move abroad after all...

[Scott]

I made the move - in my case to France. I knew from my first French visit, at the age of about ten, that the English climate wasn't for me. As a teacher I always chucked my bike on a plane at Easter and headed south. Spain, France, Cyprus, anywhere Mediterranean, and the sheer relief of pedalling away in sunshine was beyond belief. I remember fighting an ice blizzard at East Midlands to catch the plane and being in shorts and short sleeves at the other end.

I would also, now, find it very hard to live in light pollution, not just because of the astronomy but because there is something dismal about the artificiality of it. Like trees and cliffs and rivers and lakes, darkness is natural. It should be there at night.

Olly

I totally agree.....except when in VEGAS!!!

[Peter Drew]

I'm fortunate to have a nice apartment with sea views, a number of telescopes, great skies and a climate to die for, I could go permanently tomorrow. So why am I still here?.  Everything I have worked for and enjoyed is here, my friends are here and I am happy here. Sometimes those things are more important than "greener grass" (or bluer skies). 

[Peter Drew]

Edit.

Meant to say "in Tenerife" 

[Kropster]

Don't forget about the spiders and creepy-crawlies........ much bigger and more plentiful in warmer climates!

...just like the Mafia!

[PhotoGav]

This all makes for really interesting reading with some great thoughts about jumping into the abyss of change. I totally agree Olly, nature should be natural and we (mankind) have done our best to change that beyond recognition. What a shame. I think that without children the decision would be so much 'easier' to make, but the responsibility to give them a stable environment from which to enjoy the best possible education is probably top of the list. The question is, is this country really better than Italy when it comes to education? There are plenty of significant Italians that pepper history and the shaping of humanity! (Of course I firmly believe that both my children will be in the history books for making some massive impact on humanity!!). Interesting to hear your experiences James.

There is one thing that could tip the balance above quality of life, climate, healthy diet - the Mediterranean diet is so fantastic and good for you - sky quality and so on... The ice cream is unbeatable!!!

I have great respect for those who have made big changes in their life - it's not easy to jump away from the familiar and 'easy'.

As for the siblings and ownership of the house, yes there would need to be some buying out going on there. Also, the house is big enough - especially when the vast majority of life happens outside down there.

Mmmmm.....

[PhotoGav]

Don't forget about the spiders and creepy-crawlies........ much bigger and more plentiful in warmer climates!

...just like the Mafia!

Shhh.....

As for creepy crawlies - I was sitting in the garden out there a few years ago and heard a sort of rustling and hissing just behind me from the next door garden through the railings. I turned round to be face to face with a black snake - a viper of some sort... Thankfully it disappeared pretty swiftly!

[Roy Challen]

 darkness is natural. It should be there at night.

Olly

Couldn't agree with you more. I have a vivid memory of driving through the middle of the Kazakh steppe and turning the lights off (it's not as if there was suddenly going to be someone coming the other way!) and being able to drive solely by starlight. My wife is Kazakh, so hopefully, one day, we'll move back to her country. With my little scope!

[L8-Nite]

So, I have a house in Southern Italy (well, shared between my wife and her three siblings, not permanently inhabited since the passing of my mother-in-law) sitting empty except for the occasional holiday visit. It's only small, but has a flat roof where I have spent many a good hour lying on a sun lounger at night marvelling at the beauty of the heavens.

Can anybody tell me why I shouldn't just pack up everything and move myself, my wife and two children and all my Astro gear out there....?!

Consider renting or leasing your house for a year. That should give you enough time to find out if it was the right decision. If it doesn't work out, you will have an easier option to return and pick up where you left off.

Edit: I can relate, it is a tough decision, but easy enough when you determine where the opportunity for a better future for your family lies.