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What’s your best space jokes?

Jojo204

By Jojo204
in The Astro Lounge

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geordie85

geordie85

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, fozzybear said:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and bottle of wine, they retire for the night and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment. “Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

I actually got this on a birthday card this year. 

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wxsatuser

wxsatuser

Posted
Posted

Jupiter came down to Earth one day and helped two criminals plan a bank robbery.
Anyway, they both got caught and after the judge sentenced the two earthlings to fifteen years behind bars, Jupiter
was a bit shocked to get arrested and handed a ten year stretch himself.
“But your honour. I didn’t even take part in the robbery!” said Jupiter. “Yes” replied the judge. “But you did help them Planet!”

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AngryDonkey

AngryDonkey

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, cloudsweeper said:

An electron went missing.  No-one had the slightest clue where it was, but they knew exactly how fast it was travelling.

Strange, latest I heard was that it was seen on a speed camera but they couldn't work out how fast it was going....

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rocknbil

rocknbil

Posted
Posted

This one is not really a joke, but the response is priceless (and really dates you if you get it.) It is from a creative writing forum. Form your own answers. ?

What are the four words astronauts found scrawled on the wall of a cave on the moon?

"Ralph finally did it."

 

 

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JamesF

JamesF

Posted
Posted
On 15/12/2018 at 02:26, Les Ewan said:

Sorry James I've just noticed my joke is similar to yours! I'm only  surprised someone else would submit something that bad!?

As the father of two teenage children I would be in dereliction of my duty if I failed to make a bad joke when the opportunity arose.  The four words my daughter says to me most often are "That's just not funny", so I feel I have a good handle on it now.  Unfortunately for her, it's a long time until she's twenty :D

James

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Stu

Stu

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, JamesF said:

As the father of two teenage children I would be in dereliction of my duty if I failed to make a bad joke when the opportunity arose.  The four words my daughter says to me most often are "That's just not funny", so I feel I have a good handle on it now.  Unfortunately for her, it's a long time until she's twenty :D

James

Tee hee, I have used this thread to torture my two teenagers regularly since it started :)

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