What’s your best space jokes?

[Jojo204]

Hi all!

Heres a fun little forum to post your best Space Jokes! 

Here’s my contribution:

What’s a light-year?

The same as a regular year but with less calories ?

 

Go!

[paul mc c]

Its going to be clear for at least 2 days running....lol

[bottletopburly]

1 minute ago, paul mc c said:

Its going to be clear for at least 2 days running....lol

You’re just not taking this sirius ??

[Cozzy]

A Higgs boson goes into a church and the priest says, ‘We don’t allow Higgs bosons here.’ And the Higgs boson says, ‘But without me there is no mass.

[Cozzy]

Two atoms bump into each other. One says “I’ve lost an electron.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m positive.

[Cozzy]

And lastly, a festiveish one.

If athletes get “Athlete’s Foot”  What do astronauts get?
Missile toe

[paul mc c]

Two blondes in Las Vegas were sitting on a bench talking at night ... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Hellooooooo, can you see Florida?" 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/astronautjokes.html

[barkis]

That so called Cloud Gun fires blanks.

 

 

 

[Peter Drew]

Two blondes in Essex looking at the Moon.

1st Blonde. "Which do you think is furthest away, the Moon or California?"

2nd Blonde. "Doh, can you see California from here?"

 

[Jojo204]

13 minutes ago, Peter Drew said:

Two blondes in Essex looking at the Moon.

1st Blonde. "Which do you think is furthest away, the Moon or California?"

2nd Blonde. "Doh, can you see California from here?"

 

Omg that’s great ??

[Gina]

What more blonde jokes?!?!?!?!

[Owmuchonomy]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the barman how much for a pint?  The barman says, "to you, no charge"!

[Skipper Billy]

A photon checks in to a hotel - receptionist says 'where is your luggage?' - the photon says 'I am travelling light' !

[Highburymark]

What's E T short for?

He's only got little legs.

[Skipper Billy]

There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those that understand the binary system and those that dont

 

[LukeSkywatcher]

2 hours ago, Peter Drew said:

Two blondes in Essex looking at the Moon.

1st Blonde. "Which do you think is furthest away, the Moon or California?"

2nd Blonde. "Doh, can you see California from here?"

 

Gonna need that one spelled out to me. 

[Gina]

OK - here goes...  They can see the moon but they can't see California - therefore the moon must be closer.  Maybe it takes a blonde to know a blonde ?

[LukeSkywatcher]

2 minutes ago, Gina said:

OK - here goes...  They can see the moon but they can't see California - therefore the moon must be closer.  Maybe it takes a blonde to know a blonde ?

Can you see Cali from here. Sorry, I read it as can't see Cali from here. 

 

[fozzybear]

I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone … then it dawned on me

[fozzybear]

Never trust an atom because they make up everything

[LukeSkywatcher]

Gravity is great. It really keeps you grounded. 

Blackholes suck. 

 

[fozzybear]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and bottle of wine, they retire for the night and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment. “Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

[LukeSkywatcher]

6 minutes ago, fozzybear said:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and bottle of wine, they retire for the night and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment. “Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

Brilliant. 

[fozzybear]

3 minutes ago, LukeSkywatcher said:

Brilliant. 

?

[Peter Drew]

4 hours ago, LukeSkywatcher said:

Gonna need that one spelled out to me. 

Never mind Paul, you've probably got other distractions on your mind.     ?