Give us your best Astro joke!!

[saggiemaggie7]

come on guys lets have a laugh  give us your best Astro Joke ill put 1 here to start with an old 1 but always cracks me up 

A photon walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Do you want a double?" And the photon says "No im traveling light"

 

 

[lukebl]

I call my telescope 'Tiny'. ........ Because it's my Newt.

[cloudsweeper]

1 hour ago, saggiemaggie7 said:

come on guys lets have a laugh  give us your best Astro Joke ill put 1 here to start with an old 1 but always cracks me up 

A photon walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Do you want a double?" And the photon says "No im traveling light"

 

 

......but there was some uncertainty about his position, so he had to wave goodbye.

(Waiting for the flak now.)

Sorry - maybe I'm better at Limericks:

Now at this precise point in time, 
Five planets are stacked in a line. 
But for crying out loud, 
They're all covered by cloud, 
And my 'scope's up for sale now online!

[saggiemaggie7]

Thats more like reality in the northwest haha

[triton1]

I woz up all night wondering where the Sun had gone..........then it dawned on me

[Scooot]

10 minutes ago, triton1 said:

I woz up all night wondering where the Sun had gone..........then it dawned on me

It has a good future, it's a rising star.

[John]

Here are 3:

**** Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too! ****

**** I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.. it’s impossible to put down! ****

**** A spiral galaxy walked into a bar for a drink. The barman threw him out and said “You’re barred!” ***

I'll get me coat .......

[Putaendo Patrick]

Tycho Brahe didn't have a nose....

....how did he smell?

Aweful!

[saggiemaggie7]

16 hours ago, John said:

Here are 3:

**** Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too! ****

**** I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.. it’s impossible to put down! ****

**** A spiral galaxy walked into a bar for a drink. The barman threw him out and said “You’re barred!” ***

I'll get me coat .......

loved the "i'll get me coast"

[DaveS]

Humph, trying astronomy here is a joke in intself. Probably in bad taste too.

[Pondus]

The best astronomy joke is the infamous "Good Luck Mr Gorsky" (the made up story about neil Armstrongs childhood neighbour)

Cant be posted here though

[Jim78154]

About this thread....................Realy?

[ShrewView]

On ‎17‎/‎02‎/‎2016 at 15:51, saggiemaggie7 said:

come on guys lets have a laugh  give us your best Astro Joke ill put 1 here to start with an old 1 but always cracks me up 

A photon walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Do you want a double?" And the photon says "No im traveling light"

 

 

How about

A neutrino passes through a bar......

[Bart]

1 hour ago, Jim78154 said:

About this thread....................Realy?

Hey Jim

relax, there's worse things going on in the world. Opt out if you're not interested.  

[Jim78154]

2 hours ago, Bart said:

Hey Jim

relax, there's worse things going on in the world. Opt out if you're not interested.  

Well then, it must be true what I have heard about British humor. You Sir, are obviously exempted from that.

[Bart]

Good one..

[dick_dangerous]

Werner Heisenberg gets pulled over by the police - the officer says to him, "Professor Heisenberg, do you know how fast you were going?" Hesienberg replies, "No, but I know exactly where I am..."

I'm here all week.

Paul

[triton1]

Two Atoms bump into each other one says "I've lost an electron" are you sure says the other "yup I,m positive"

[triton1]

Wot happened the Astronaut who stepped in chewing gum?

He got stuck in Orbit!

 

[Uranium235]

A galaxy walks into a pub and orders a pint...

The barman says "I'm not serving you.... youre barred!"

[triton1]

wot did Mars say to Saturn

"Give me a ring sometime"

ok my coats on.

 

[JemC]

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.

[Stub Mandrel]

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

[Peter Drew]

Which is furthest away, California or the Moon?  Doh!, can you see California from here?

[bomberbaz]

A higgs boson goes into church but he is turned away by the priest saying, "sorry, we don't allow higgs bosons in here", The higgs boson says, "but without me there will be no mass!"