Give us your best Astro joke!!

[bomberbaz]

a seminar on time travel will be held last tuesday 

[cloudsweeper]

...........followed by a counselling session for galaxies who are fed up with the recession.

*groan*

[Ant]

On 19 February 2016 at 01:58, Jim78154 said:

Well then, it must be true what I have heard about British humor. You Sir, are obviously exempted from that.

You seem to have a "thing" about how people post here? Not sure why, but I can confirm you are free to leave at any time, we do not force people to stay...

Maybe you could try cloudynights.com? They may post in a manner you find more appealing!

Ant

[tich]

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the Moon?
The food is great but there's no atmosphere!!

[Mr Spock]

Q: What should you do if you see a green alien?

A: Wait until it's ripe...

[Skipper Billy]

A chap spent 3 days training to do his first solo free fall parachute jump and eventually the time came.

He boarded the plane and it climbed to jump height.

The pilot gave the parachutist the nod, cut the throttles and the parachutist leapt out counting one thousand, two thousand etc and at the correct moment pulled the rip cord - nothing happened!!

He tried again and again - nothing........

Then his training kicked in and he remembered the emergency 'chute.

He pulled the emergency 'chute - nothing happened !!

Now panic has set in and he is furiously pulling both rip cords but nothing happens.

He looks down to see the earth rushing towards him at terminal velocity when he sees a man coming towards him with frizzy hair and a smoke trail clutching a 200mm Dob.

As a last resort he shouts to the man coming up towards him - 'hey - do you know anything about parachuting' ???

'No' replies the guy with the Dob - 'do you know anything about installing mains power in a garden obsy' ???

 

 

[barkis]

I think that Uranus joke is not only juvenile, it just isn't amusing, whatever new spin is put on it.
We may have to make it a Capital Offence, unless your only 5 years old, then you may be forgiven,
but don't bank on it.  Jokes are fun guys, so keep telling them, we all like a laugh, but Uranus is
off limits.

 

[Spikey]

2 hours ago, ant said:

You seem to have a "thing" about how people post here? Not sure why, but I can confirm you are free to leave at any time, we do not force people to stay...

Maybe you could try cloudynights.com? They may post in a manner you find more appealing!

Ant

My thoughts exactly.

[Scott]

13 minutes ago, barkis said:

I think that Uranus joke is not only juvenile, it just isn't amusing, whatever new spin is put on it.
We may have to make it a Capital Offence, unless your only 5 years old, then you may be forgiven,
but don't bank on it.  Jokes are fun guys, so keep telling them, we all like a laugh, but Uranus is
off limits.

 

c'mon Ron, we all giggled when we heard it aged 5... the next 2000-3000 times were met with great indifference. it was only the last 7000-8000 times that it became somewhat tedious

[Mr Spock]

Q: Whay didn't the Dog Star laugh at the joke?

A: Because it was too Sirius...

[Mr Spock]

Why couldn't the astronaut book a room on the moon?

Because it was full...

[Stub Mandrel]

4 hours ago, barkis said:

I think that Uranus joke is not only juvenile, it just isn't amusing, whatever new spin is put on it.
We may have to make it a Capital Offence, unless your only 5 years old, then you may be forgiven,
but don't bank on it.  Jokes are fun guys, so keep telling them, we all like a laugh, but Uranus is
off limits.

 

I'd better keep my 'analemma' joke to myself then :-(

[barkis]

2 minutes ago, Stub Mandrel said:

I'd better keep my 'analemma' joke to myself then :-(

Not necessarily.  The name is applied to the sun's  deviation from it's mean  annual path, and is very interesting to monitor. I'm sure some folks will do so, as they 
may also plot  retrograde motion of Mars. Any jokes about the former, will hopefully at least, curb the very boring Uranus ones, which crop up every time the Planet get a  mention.
Probably, the long drawn out bad weather has had some influence .

 
 

[Paul73]

On 21 February 2016 at 16:26, Scott said:

c'mon Ron, we all giggled when we heard it aged 5... the next 2000-3000 times were met with great indifference. it was only the last 7000-8000 times that it became somewhat tedious

Nope. Still sniggering here!

Although. Ron, I do agree that uranus should be off limits in a family forum.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Paul

[Mr Spock]

Humour - it is a difficult concept...

[Psychobilly]

Now what was that  one about the fisher space pen and the pencil...?

 

 

[beamer3.6m]

On 21/02/2016 at 16:10, barkis said:

I think that Uranus joke is not only juvenile, it just isn't amusing, whatever new spin is put on it.
We may have to make it a Capital Offence, unless your only 5 years old, then you may be forgiven,
but don't bank on it.  Jokes are fun guys, so keep telling them, we all like a laugh, but Uranus is
off limits.

 

I'm not sure if this is a joke comment.

What's wrong with the Uranus joke... Besides my wife loves it... Makes her laugh every time.

[StevieDvd]

Q. Why did the astroimager get lines instead of dots for his stars?

 

A. He did not have a PHD.

Q. Why did the other  astroimager get lines instead of dots for his stars?

 

A. He did not have a PHD2.

 

Coat removed from coat rack, heading to door now.

[barkis]

2 minutes ago, beamer3.6m said:

I'm not sure if this is a joke comment.

What's wrong with the Uranus joke... Besides my wife loves it... Makes her laugh every time.

Well, far be it from me to be a Killjoy, we'll give it a reprieve for another 50 years. We wouldn't want to 
deprive your good lady of a few more laughs .

[barkis]

4 hours ago, Paul73 said:

Nope. Still sniggering here!

Although. Ron, I do agree that uranus should be off limits in a family forum.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Paul

Shock Horror, have I now become The Butt of a Joke? My Mummy will be distraught.

[Kropster]

On 19/02/2016 at 01:58, Jim78154 said:

Well then, it must be true what I have heard about British humor. You Sir, are obviously exempted from that.

It's 'humour' if it' British!?

[michaelmorris]

As with all these joke threads, some members just seem to forget that this is a family-friendly forum and we end up having to hide loads of postings and lock the thread.  Guess what happened this time ...