10 Nerdy jokes...

[Ant]

1. I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

3. Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

4. Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

5. Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

6. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:

“What do we want?”.

“Time travel”

“When do we want it?”.

“Irrelevant.”

7. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

8. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.

9. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:

“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m positive.”

10. An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

Ant

[Ant]

This one I like

What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?… Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

[estwing]

someones been on FB?...

[Ant]

Yep

[spaceman_spiff]

I was up all night wondering where the Sun had gone...

then it dawned on me.

I couldn't resist!!! 

[michael.h.f.wilkinson]

Brilliant!

[estwing]

how can you tell if an ant is a male or female?... drop it in a glass of water, if it sinks its a girl...if it floats its buoyant!!!!!!

[LukeSkywatcher]

I dont get #10.

Here's one from the mind of Stephen Hawking:

A photon checks into a hotel. The person at the desk asks if they can bring the luggage to the room.

The Photon replies: No need, im travelling light.

[S-Nova]

A photon walks into a hotel and the porter asks "do you need any help with your luggage?" The photon replies "no thanks I'm travelling light."

boom boom

[Mr Spock]

There was an old lady called Wright
who could travel much faster than light.
She departed one day
in a relative way
and returned on the previous night.

[Mr Spock]

Q: What is a nuclear physicist's favourite meal?
A: Fission Chips.

[wxsatuser]

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek.

lt’s Einstein’s turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten.

Pascal runs off and hides.

Newton draws a one meter by one meter square on the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it.

Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes.

He sees Newton immediately and exclaims “Newton! I found you! You’re it!”
Newton smiles and says “You didn’t find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!”

[LukeSkywatcher]

A photon walks into a hotel and the porter asks "do you need any help with your luggage?" The photon replies "no thanks I'm travelling light."

boom boom

Seems to be an echo in here.

LOL

[niallk]

This one I like

What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?… Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

Verrry good!!

[niallk]

There's only 10 kinds of people in the world... Those who understand binary and those who don't.

[niallk]

Seems to be an echo in here.

LOL

What are the odds? ... Same joke posted at the same time... About photons... For who time does not exist... Oooooo

[S-Nova]

Two cats on a tin roof, which one falls first?

The one with the smallest Mu.

[Steve Ward]

Would this not get hoofed over into to the Lounge normally ... ?

[Mr Spock]

Would this not get hoofed over into to the Lounge normally ... ?

I don't understand that joke...

Q: Why can't you trust an atom?
A: They make up everything

[Mr Spock]

Q: What is Heisenberg's birth place and date?

A: I can tell you the place or the date, but not both together

[Mr Spock]

Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms

[triton1]

Oh no!

[Steve Ward]

Why do mathematicians get confused over Halloween and Christmas ... ?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25 

[MAN or ASTROMAN]

Scientists have discovered a temperature lower than absolute zero.It was observed in a sausage roll from Greggs.

[m1dlj]

How can you distinguish between a chemist and an electrician?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized'.