The astro-giraffe...

[ollypenrice]

I see a national paper has given the dimensions of an impacting asteroid as 'half the size of a giraffe.'  Is the giraffe now a unit of volume for impacting bodies? Or for volumes in general? 

With 0.3 giraffes of cargo space the new Ford Transit will be popular with roofing contractors...

It is believed that a new pulsating variable has been discovered in Camelopardarlis. Varying between 3x10^9 and 7x10^9 giraffes it has a period of around 8 days...

Wanted: mini-digger and driver to dig a hole of 1 giraffe in our garden. Our beloved Lanky passed away in her sleep yesterday.

Olly

 

[glafnazur]

You could make a Monty Python sketch from this.

[Ags]

Being more spherical,  elephants are a better unit of volume. Giraffes on the other hand are clearly a unit of length.

Edited March 16, 2022 by Ags

[ollypenrice]

1 minute ago, Ags said:

Being more spherical,  elephants are an better unit of volume. Giraffes on the other hand are clearly a unit of length.

You must have some funny spheres in the Netherlands!

lly

[Ags]

I forgot to mention, my go-to animal for measuring surface area is the flatfish.

[ollypenrice]

7 minutes ago, Ags said:

I forgot to mention, my go-to animal for measuring surface area is the flatfish.

Now you've started us off: 

This well, with a surface area of 17 flatfish, is over 2 redwoods old and 30 snorkels deep. When full it can store 14 giraffes of water in a volume of 9 elephants and with a peak transparency of almost three jellyfish...

Olly

[Craney]

Any 4 dimensional surfaces, call on the  tardi(s)grade...

[Jonny_H]

26 minutes ago, ollypenrice said:

Now you've started us off: 

This well, with a surface area of 17 flatfish, is over 2 redwoods old and 30 snorkels deep. When full it can store 14 giraffes of water in a volume of 9 elephants and with a peak transparency of almost three jellyfish...

Olly

The strange thing is - I understood all of this perfectly.... 🤔🙃

I will be disappointed now if builders and the like do not use this lingo when measuring etc...

"in order to support your new roof sir you are going to need a ridge beam measuring approximately 120 Gophers"

Edited March 16, 2022 by Jonny_H

[Hawksmoor]

Is a light giraffe a measure of distance or weight?

Perplexed of Lowestoft

[Pixies]

Whatever happened to the old fashioned 'Wales' unit of area? It's political correctness gone mad, I tell you!

And anyone of my age knows that an asteroid is measured in good old British donkeys! One 'so-called' giraffe is 3 5/8th donkeys.

[ollypenrice]

7 hours ago, Pixies said:

Whatever happened to the old fashioned 'Wales' unit of area? It's political correctness gone mad, I tell you!

And anyone of my age knows that an asteroid is measured in good old British donkeys! One 'so-called' giraffe is 3 5/8th donkeys.

Indeed, the Wales is a much-missed unit. There is also The Isle of Wight, though it has a rival in The Manhattan. Both are widely used in popular descriptions of the Neutron Star.

By the way, the neutron star has a density of of six .................S (insert politician of choice, but not on here!)

😁lly

[Mr Spock]

Giraffe-to do this?

[Zermelo]

12 hours ago, ollypenrice said:

has been discovered in Camelopardarlis. Varying between 3x10^9 and 7x10^9 giraffes

9 hours ago, Pixies said:

Whatever happened to the old fashioned 'Wales' unit of area?

Had it been detected in Cetus rather than Camelopardalis, then presumably that same inept journo might have used "wales" as a unit instead of "giraffes".

 

[ollypenrice]

^^ Applause!

lly

[StevieDvd]

4 hours ago, Zermelo said:

Had it been detected in Cetus rather than Camelopardalis, then presumably that same inept journo might have used "wales" as a unit instead of "giraffes".

 

How much does wales weigh then?

 

 

[Zermelo]

17 minutes ago, StevieDvd said:

How much does wales weigh then?

 

 

I'm not sure, but they're pretty big fishes.

 

[Mr Spock]

I think you all mean whales not wales... Unless we are talking about Wales the country 😜

[StevieDvd]

54 minutes ago, Mr Spock said:

I think you all mean whales not wales... Unless we are talking about Wales the country 😜

That was the intent of my feeble humour asking about the country (wales) and not whales (the mammals) - no fish involved.

[ollypenrice]

2 hours ago, StevieDvd said:

That was the intent of my feeble humour asking about the country (wales) and not whales (the mammals) - no fish involved.

I got it.  

As an imager I felt I had to photograph the volume of the extraterrestrial body in question. (Exposure time 0.3 hummingbirds.)

Olly

 

[Zermelo]

... and I had deliberately conflated "Wales" with "whales" as I thought it was a mistake that could be made by a journalist who measured in giraffe units. Which I compounded with the "fishes" reference, thinking of the parody version of Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau.
 

[StevieDvd]

and I am reminded about places to weigh whales being more common than where to weigh pies.

The latter is explained in the song 'Over the Rainbow'  - they only really work when said out loud.

[Dinglem]

If you need to know the weight of a whale you'll have to go to a Whale-Weigh Station, I'll get my coat.

[Elp]

Move it just a smidge...

[Stu]

This seems to have made it to FB as well…. An Okapi is half the size of a giraffe apparently 🤪🤣

[wimvb]

21 hours ago, ollypenrice said:

I see a national paper has given the dimensions of an impacting asteroid as 'half the size of a giraffe.'  Is the giraffe now a unit of volume for impacting bodies? Or for volumes in general? 

With 0.3 giraffes of cargo space the new Ford Transit will be popular with roofing contractors...

It is believed that a new pulsating variable has been discovered in Camelopardarlis. Varying between 3x10^9 and 7x10^9 giraffes it has a period of around 8 days...

Wanted: mini-digger and driver to dig a hole of 1 giraffe in our garden. Our beloved Lanky passed away in her sleep yesterday.

Olly

 

Some people/organisations will do anything to avoid using the metric system.