How To Get Your Partner Interested in Astronomy

[dick_dangerous]

I don't think my wife will ever be into astronomy as a hobby, but she is fascinated by what the telescope can show her. She's just naturally very curious (Either way it sounds) so I guess in that respect I'm extremely lucky, she just never has the energy or the inclination to stand around too long in the dark and cold though!

I do know what you mean about the alone time thing - the whole communing with the universe thing.

DD

[Mowbs]

I find it quite funny the way people either have a natural interest in astronomy or they don't. I haven't been doing it very long myself but I've been amazed by peoples different reactions when you speak about astronomy and I could never predict the ones who 'get it'

[dick_dangerous]

I find it quite funny the way people either have a natural interest in astronomy or they don't. I haven't been doing it very long myself but I've been amazed by peoples different reactions when you speak about astronomy and I could never predict the ones who 'get it'

One of the problems that my wife exemplifies is that people can be interested in astronomy and will find what they see through a telescope fascinating but are less interested in the hunt for that elusive DSO (The "Craft" as it were), or the telescope itself, or that faint smudge of a galaxy. I remember showing her M101, a notoriously tricky object, when I first got the ST80 and just getting the reaction, "Oh... it's a fuzzy blob." My Mum always used to tell me to call her if I found anything interesting, by which she basically meant comets. My wife has more interest than that, but I must admit I didn't show anything last night I couldn't find really easily, I only showed her a few things, and I showed her stuff that looked impressive. I expect she won't come out again until Mars comes up earlier but at least I know she's keen to see it through the 'scope.

It's also interesting that we all approach the hobby from different angles - not just the imaging / observing divide, but also the motivations. I know people who are really into the technical specifications of their telescopes or modding their set-up etc, while I'm just happy to cart around a big tube with a mirror at one end for seeing stuff. The thrill for me is in finding things and the amazing diversity of the universe, but then I am a taxonomist by training...

Ah... Astronomy, the hobby that keeps on giving!

DD

[hobsey]

Mine isn't interested in it in the slightest but she always offers to go with me to a dark site for company and safety full well knowing it really annoys me not having a garden. She even got up at 5 in the morning with me a few months ago so I could catch a glimpse of Saturn.

[Beulah]

Not bothered about the better half being interested - like to have the time to myself as it creates interesting conversation. A perfect balance can be achieved whether interests are shared or not - the main issue is whether the interest is in each other!!

Other half is interested in living under a darker sky, has been extremely supportive of my hobby and has fully endorsed each aperture increase. Even an observatory has been mentioned but it is not practical for the property we live in.

What more can I want?

[dick_dangerous]

Mine isn't interested in it in the slightest but she always offers to go with me to a dark site for company and safety full well knowing it really annoys me not having a garden. She even got up at 5 in the morning with me a few months ago so I could catch a glimpse of Saturn.

Now that is love. I've only got up early for a session once, and that was to see Comet ISON (Failed) and Comet Lovejoy (Succeeded!) last November. And that was only an hour before we normally get up...

Not bothered about the better half being interested - like to have the time to myself as it creates interesting conversation. A perfect balance can be achieved whether interests are shared or not - the main issue is whether the interest is in each other!!

Other half is interested in living under a darker sky, has been extremely supportive of my hobby and has fully endorsed each aperture increase. Even an observatory has been mentioned but it is not practical for the property we live in.

What more can I want?

These, and the many other similar sentiments in the earlier replies, are very true indeed. My wife does pilates, I do astronomy and we enjoy art and hiking together!

DD

[Caldwell14]

Total waste of time in my experience, Jupiter is.... oh yeah...small isn't it,  Saturn, is that it..... I give up, the kids are no better.

[dick_dangerous]

Total waste of time in my experience, Jupiter is.... oh yeah...small isn't it,  Saturn, is that it..... I give up, the kids are no better.

It's funny - the other week I was working at an astronomy event and afterwards got a lift home with the guy from our side who'd organised our side of the event (They were using our venue). "So," I said, "Did you get to see through the 'scopes?" "Yeah..." was the slightly hesitant reply, "I looked at Jupiter... Bit small wasn't it?" I then explained that it's often a better view when its smaller and that as views went, it was pretty good (They had a 9'' SCT aimed at it).

My wife on the other hand was wowed last night looking at it, especially when I explained that the little black dot on it was the shadow of Io passing in front.

DD

[JamesF]

"I looked at Jupiter... Bit small wasn't it?"

"It looks that way.  Actually, it's more than ten times the diameter of the Earth.  But it's a very, very long way away.  So far away that if you passed your test at 18 and got in a car and kept driving towards it until you died you'd not even get close.  In fact, at 70mph it would take you at least 500 years of non-stop driving.  That's how far away it is.  And Saturn is about as far again."

I'd never thought about it like that before.  Makes it seem quite amazing that we can see it at all...

James

[dick_dangerous]

"So far away that if you passed your test at 18 and got in a car and kept driving towards it until you died you'd not even get close."

The speed he drives at? Put it this way, I was not late home...

DD

[Caldwell14]

"It looks that way.  Actually, it's more than ten times the diameter of the Earth.  But it's a very, very long way away.  So far away that if you passed your test at 18 and got in a car and kept driving towards it until you died you'd not even get close.  In fact, at 70mph it would take you at least 500 years of non-stop driving.  That's how far away it is.  And Saturn is about as far again."

I'd never thought about it like that before.  Makes it seem quite amazing that we can see it at all...

James

Oh I have explained all that...she still thinks it's all a waste of time." As for fuzzy grey smudges of light.....

[Siriusmeg]

"It's also interesting that we all approach the hobby from different angles - not just the imaging / observing divide, but also the motivations. I know people who are really into the technical specifications of their telescopes or modding their set-up etc, while I'm just happy to cart around a big tube with a mirror at one end for seeing stuff. The thrill for me is in finding things and the amazing diversity of the universe, but then I am a taxonomist by training..."

My Oh is getting more interested by the day which is great, but he favours the technical side whereas I really don't.  Whenever he uses my scope, he complains about the lack of goto or tracking.  Simple solution - he's getting a scope for his birthday    

[Marki]

I'm lucky in that my wife happily supports me and has come to two star parties with me so far. She'll happily pop into the garden for a few minutes or even longer, and loves to look at the moon especially. She loves the Orion nebula too, and will look at the Pleides for ages (she has her own pair of bins now). She was really interested to watch the moons transit Jupiter the other night, and was as disappointed as I was at the failure of Ison to round the sun. When she does come out she likes to try and take photos with her Canon Ixus hrough the eyepiece - and shes a lot better at it than me too . She'll happily watch the S@N and other astro programmes. She never criticises any of my astro spending, but helps me to focus on what I need rather than frittering .

But astronomy is not her thing - despite buying some really warm boots and cloths, she gets cold easily. On the whole, she'd really rather stay indoors curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine or port and a good book! I don't push it, and am eternally grateful for the understanding and support she's given me so far.

[Qualia]

Rather than simply sharing activities together, I think it is better to make time for joint pursuits and shared in this way, become activities which are not motivated by self interest. The thought of my girlfriend having to sit it out in some cold and damp field, for example, if later I make room to meet up with her mates and chat all afternoon fills me with terror. That kind of thing can be paradoxically termed, isolated-shared-activities, where you're really wishing you were some place else, sitting it out to be pleasant.

I think at this junction, it is important to distinguish between engaging in an activity for the sake of the other, and activities we share for the sake of sharing. The former - although often stemming from a feeling of love and concern - end up creating a kind of debt sheet, worse, resentment, the latter constitute a bond of friendship. Of course, as we get older there are compromises we must share with our partners, compromises to which we will think, "I do this for you, you do this for me." But these are not the kind of shared activities we must celebrate.

In my own case, my shared pursuits with my girlfriend do not and hopefully never will include stargazing and as a joint pursuit it really doesn't seem to be that interesting .

[TractionMan]

Tried and failed as well. My wife looked at Saturn for about 10 seconds a couple of years ago (before we were married) and that's about it. Not interested at all to look at stuff through a telescope, but she does enjoy a bit of naked eye stargazing when we're out walking the dogs. 

[AstroAdam]

Some people just aren't interested. At least if they take a look you can say you've tried, but there's no way to make people interested in that which they really don't have a curiosity about.

[DommyDevil18]

Quite easy all you need to do is tell her about a certain star or planet. My Girlfriend who then wasnt my Girlfriend didnt know about the stars until I told her about them. Now she has her own Telescope quite powerful she said it was a Celestron or something like that and she has recently been observing Mars

[Pete Presland]

Prefer it on my own to be honest

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

[voidhawk]

My OH actually bought my telescope for me. I'd mentioned when we went to see the Pleides shower that I'd quite like to get into astronomy properly, cue a few months later, a massive present under the tree...

We've been learning it and the night sky together, she was the one who found Jupiter after "I want to look at... that bright star there."

As long as I bring some extra layers and a canteen of tea, she's as happy as I am.

[nebulanebula]

I am also very lucky as my OH bought my telescope and eye pieces as a present and has spent hours helping me set it up etc. Now that it's set up he spends more time indoors and just pops out to ask if I have 'found anything interesting' or I will pop back in and tell him to come out and look at something. He then usually has a look, says 'wow' and then heads in to google it! I think he enjoys being taught things by me for a change, especially now I am able to point things out in the night sky without the use of a star guide etc. If he does come out he puts on about 6 layers and has a whisky to keep him warm!

I quite like having the time apart, an interest that is just mine, and he likes hearing about what I saw and what I want to look at on following evenings etc. I like  to show an interest in my partners interest without needing to get directly involved- I ask him how Wrexham FC are doing but it doesn't mean I want to go to a game! He asks me how the 'seeing' was without getting frozen outside!  I think I would find it frustrating if he wasn't bothered about hearing about it though - especially as a newbie, finding things for the first time is incredibly exciting! 

He does usually have a hot bath waiting for me when I come back in as well

[hadyn42]

Hello All

I must say I think I have got a keeper here with my present Mrs!

She is very keen on observing the heavens, she does complain of the cold nights sometimes, but I do warm her up by putting on the central heating!

Seriously now, my wife Christina has even been to SGL7 and she says thoroughly enjoyed it, but due to work she is unable to come along with me again this year. She is really keen on stargazing and she loves to watch the ISS go over the island. In fact my two sisters and their family, my two daughters all love when I setup the scopes etc for a nights viewing.

Best regards,  Hadyn - Isle of Man

[Scott]

My most definately "better half" Is becoming more interested now that I've started imaging, and can show her what I've been "looking at" on the computer in the comfort of a heated house. I will say though that at bedtime now, we'll stand at the window for quite a time, looking at what's available to our southern views. I've given up on trying to get her outside anymore....unless of course Saturn's about....She'll always come out for a peek at Saturn.

[Stridor]

My wife shows absolutely no interest in my Astronomy, and for that I am very grateful; I can be at one with my equipment and the sky above . We have nothing else in common actually, apart from our wonderful little boy we had very late in life; I know he will be very interested; he always points out the Moon during the daytime when it is much less obvious!