Your spouse opinion?...

[Altitude]

Ok, this is a tough question for some people...

What's your spouse opinion about your astronomical hobby?

So why this is a tough question? Because my wife thinks its a "big waste of money and time"!

Buying equipment in environment like that is not easy. Large items like tripod and tube going through a big drama of pre-purchasing negotiations with my wife. Christmas list filled with what you need, but it's not enough to complete your collection of gadgets and toys for astronomical observation. Since buying online today dominating the way people shop around, no way I can hide from my wife any purchases paid by credit cards. Paying cash is the only one solution, but how do I pay for my filters, eyepieces, adapters etc...?

Here is how...

When my wife wants to go and relax in casino (hey, it's way better than "starring into the dark sky" and not a "waste of money" at all...!), I am going too. No, I am not trying to win big bucks for my next telescope. I am not even gambling at all. I am taking $100-$200 and while my wife supporting strong profits of casino owners, I am smoking cigar somewhere in the lounge. When she's done and ready to go home, I am telling her that my money in the same place now as hers... She's never felt bad about it!

Next question is, how do I pay cash for my optical gear online? Very easy. I am giving cash to my friend, who's buying for me what I need with his credit card.

I was thinking that this way I can save enough money to buy a 16" Dob one day. The only problem here will be when it will arrive to my door steps I will need to explain my wife who bought me such a nice gift...

So, what's your's "sweetheart's" opinion about your astro-hobby?...

[johnrt]

She couldn't care less, and in return I say nothing about the fact that our house is slowly creaking under the weight of books (she's a librarian).

[damnut]

My wife pointed out recently that I only had two eyes and five scopes. My repost was that she only has eight fingers (six really!) and two wrists, far more ice than she can wear!

[Paul M]

Although I had met my wife to be when I got my first proper scope (1984/5) we weren't married. We both still lived with our parents and had little money so my 6" Fullerscopes Newtonian was a huge investment.

My wife to be still thought I was nuts but she had every chance to find someone else if it bothered her that much!

My next big spend was some 30 years later in the year of our 25th wedding anniversary. With a little help from my late fathers estate I purchased a nice SkyWatcher 250 PDS on an NEQ6 mount. I encountered little resistance. I'd hardly been throwing money at astronomy.

We did tailor 2 family holidays to be on the center line of two total solar eclipses. We'd have been on holiday somewhere anyway so no real expense. My wife was actually quite impressed by both events and would like to see another (because she knows I like it!). I'd have any easier time finding the money for an eclipse expedition than I would finding cash for a new kit purchase.

She has no interest in the night sky. I could barely drag her outside to look at the only 2 Aurora bright enough to be seen from our back yard. She's happy enough for me to be out in the garden in early hours with my scope but she isn't remotely interested in looking through it.

I'm not a kit collector but if I was I'm sure I'd get away with any reasonable purchase I so fancied.

I suppose that's the problem with astro kit, defining "reasonable"!

Good luck, and remember it's your life you're living...

[RWB]

My 'better half' says nowt !! but has been known (quite often ) to use my 'scope as  a

clothes horse when ironing   

My own fault I guess for leaving it rigged and ready to go just inside the french windows !!  

Clear skies to all    Regards

                                                Robin 

[Fozzie]

Mines generally ok about these things... I've never spent big on the gear in that sense and most of it is second hand so doesn't devalue too much..  She does however immeasurably protest when either

1. I don't put away the boxes after putting away the kit.. I have a habit of leaving them on the dinning room table
2. Generally crash around the house at 2 in the morning.. why is it your noisiest when your trying to be the quietest possible.

However she goes ballistic when I manage to do both of the above, coupled with using her as a heat sink at 2 in the morning after a good frozen winter observing session....  It's pure rage I tell you!

[MAN or ASTROMAN]

Mrs MoA is very supportive.Let me spend £450 or thereabouts last Boxing day on a scope! She doesn't even complain about me getting up in the wee small hours to go out observing-then again,she's usually 'dead to the world' at that time!

[Dave_D]

I wouldn't even consider being with someone who didn't have at least a passing interest in my hobbies (and vice-versa). but then again, i'm quite happily single and have no intention of changing that.

[brantuk]

My other half loves the hobby as much as I do - but in a different way. She likes me to find stuff so she can have a wow moment looking at it or imaging it. But she has no interest in comparing, buying, and talking about gear or researching objects - she leaves all that to me. She encourages me to buy any gear that I suggest would be useful - including bigger/better scopes, eyepieces, and mounts.

Some would say I'm lucky - they'd be right lol. Equally - I'm supportive with anything she wants to do - fortunately she doesn't have any expensive hobbies like astronomy - mostly cooking, buying the odd kitchen gadget, and keeping current with computer technology and devices. lol.

[recceranger]

My wife got me back into Astronomy when she bought me my second scope (after a 29 year gap). Since the she had bought me my SW ED80, D3000 and SynGuider Camera!

However, when I make her come with me to Astro Events she just drinks wine and looks at us like a school bully looks at nerds!

[Garethr]

Looks like I'm really lucky, my wife loves astromony and even has her own scope.

Whilst I'm in the Obsy imaging (which she does find a bit boring) she's outside bouncing around the stars looking at all sorts.

We even go on holiday together down to Devon where there is an Astromony based centre we visit each year. Again I'm in the main dome imaging on the Intes whist she plays with the big 1/2 m Dob. She does grumble at the constant "little bits" on the credit card though.

Gareth

[Mr Spock]

She told me it was too big, too expensive and I spent too much time with it.

So I got rid of the big, expensive thing I spent too much time with.

Now there is just me and my scope

[Saganite]

Very similar to Brantuk's situation in that though my wife loves to look at interesting objects, she has no interest in the equipment needed and does not really

care what I buy, and in return I support her interests and hobbies in whichever way is necessary. Her lifelong passion is making bobbin lace, and each year

she travels to lace congresses around Europe and I accompany her, and amuse myself all day by bird watching on the nearest nature reserve, or like last year in Denmark, tracking down all things viking.

The only objection she has to my passion for Astronomy, is that in winter after a nights observing, she is not keen on having a " human block of ice" crawling

into bed in the pre dawn hours, so I usually take the spare room option

[Moonshane]

My wife has never really had any interest in any of my hobbies. That said, Vive la difference!

She will look at e.g. Jupiter, Saturn etc for a few seconds and say 'nice' and takes great pleasure in the usual scenario of a meteor passing through the field as she looks and I don't.

In terms of spending, I have my monthly budget for my hobby and can buy and sell or save with impunity.

She gets more annoyed at my untidyness than my hobbies.

[sungrazer]

My wife was easy to convince:

1 - I gave up smoking and all of my astro gear was bought using the money saved (so far >£2k)

2 - I said I wanted a hobby that I could share with our son as he grows up (currently just started walking!)

3 - I pointed the scope at Saturn and let her look.  "WOW! THAT'S TOTALLY AWESOME!" was the response.

I really feel for the OP.  Can't be an enjoyable hobby if you have to hide it from those closest to you.

SG

[ollypenrice]

It's both a passion and a job for me. On the job side of it my wife worries about the hours, my being up all night and then working on data by day. I counter by saying it's usually only for two weeks on, two off, with the moon. On the passion side of it, she approves. She's a painter by profession and says she doesn't feel alive if she doesn't paint at least a little every day. She fully understands how I feel once I get going on an image.

Looking at, thinking about and being involved with nature on its grandest scale cannot, simply cannot, be a waste of time.

Olly

[MattJenko]

Whilst my wife has no real interest in astronomy per se, she is happy that I have a non destructive hobby and that she knows where I am when I am out at night...

Respecting and trusting each other is a major part of our relationship, and as such there are no hidden agendas or hidden spends, which is just as well as I don't have the mental capacity to maintain a secret or remember lies.

[Astro_Baby]

Your wife gambles in a Casino and think astro is a waste of money   hard to know what to say.  I used to work in an arcade and no one ever really made money except the arcade owners.  

What does partner think ?  We have a household budget plan and both us submit our needs to scrutiny, we manage a tight ship with all household expenses logged and managed.  We never use credit so when the funds allow both of us put forward a business case as to what we want, why we want it and why what we currently have is inadequate etc.  We run a score sheet and if all the boxes are ticked both of us approve the purchase.  We allow each other some 'float' which we don't need prior approval to spend so if I saw an eyepiece going cheap and there was no time to consult and it was within my float I can buy it.

Other half has hobbies as well so we tend to split it pretty fairly.  I have my telescopes and rockets, they have their mixing desk, microphones and assorted gubbins. We tend to run the household finances like a corporation ( a good corporation not like a bank I should add ) 

I have to say I would dump other half if they ever wanted to gamble the hard earned cash away.  Maybe having a dad who WAS the arcade owner and seeing people put their hard earned into the machines all day so dad could drive a Jaguar and buy nice stuff has something to do with it

[L8-Nite]

Not a tough question at all.  My Wife and I think alike, we both want the best life can offer for each other, so there are no issues in pursuing happiness.   

[Davey-T]

My wife thinks a complete waste of money, luckily she doesn't know how much I "waste" 

Dave

[michaelmorris]

All our wages goes into a joint account.  This account pays out £100 a month to each of our personal accounts.  Money from personal accounts is guilt free spend it on what you like money.

Simples!

[Stu]

I spend too much on kit, I know I do. My justifications to myself? I've taken a car allowance and driven round in cheap cars for the last 15 years, making a big saving. I've spent enough money on a divorce and putting my children through school to buy a decent sized house!

I'm not totally open about how much I spend, but my Mrs has just had 13 months off looking after the baby, and now works part time which was always her ideal, so I feel ok about spoiling myself a little. Another thing that helps is when she sees me selling kit too, either to fund other purchases or help out with finances when needed.

She is generally very supportive, although her involvement is normally limited to an 'oh that's pretty', normally looking at Saturn after a glass or two . Anything else is met with 'that's another fuzzy grey blob'!

Solar viewing is better because it's warm, I've taken to sleeping on the settee if I'm am up very late as it's not really fair waking her with a freezing cuddle! Since I started that, she is a lot more 'chilled' (see what I did there?) about me being up until the small hours.

I'm supportive of her hobbies and activities (both in encouragement but also financially) whilst not always 'getting' them, she is basically the same with me so I'm fine with that.

[Fozzie]

 I've taken to sleeping on the settee if I'm am up very late as it's not really fair waking her with a freezing cuddle!

That would be a better solution, but in all honest I don't like sitting on our sofa, let alone sleeping on the ol' bed of nails... Nope she's stuck with cold cuddles until we replace it or we decorate the spare room, which as she's sent me 5 wallpaper samples today alone, is a very immanent ordeal! 

[Stu]

That would be a better solution, but in all honest I don't like sitting on our sofa, let alone sleeping on the ol' bed of nails... Nope she's stuck with cold cuddles until we replace it or we decorate the spare room, which as she's sent me 5 wallpaper samples today alone, is a very immanent ordeal!

Good luck!!

[SteveNickolls]

Hi,

My wife will generally go outside to look at a new object but has no real interest herself. She did buy me a pair of Vixen BS81S-A binoculars for my 60th though. We otherwise have an agreement that whatever my wife spends on theatre visits, football season ticket etc. I get to use for astronomy and this has served the purpose very well. If I am ever pressed I do point out that while I still have all the gear I have bought over the years my wife has all the relegation memories to console herself with (she's A Notts County fan after all). I do feel for you however when your wife goes to casinos as that could be utterly expensive!

Cheers,

Steve