Jump to content

NLCbanner2024.jpg.2478be509670e60c2d6efd04834b8b47.jpg

Are Telescopes Cloud Magnets?


Recommended Posts

I finally got my DLSR mounted on my scope this evening and was reduced to taking pictures of TV aerials. In fact it's not been good here for at least two weeks. Managed about 30 minutes last night and that's about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I discovered this in a word document this morning. I was wondering why until I discovered this thread. :wink:

Telescopes are not cloud magnets.

Magnetism only works at very short range. While this would be ok in the quantum universe of telescope/cloud attraction, in the Einsteinian universe the results of buying a new telescope obviously work at far greater range (I.E. at least 100 miles per inch of aperture) than magnetism could account for.

Other fundamental forces are at work here so let’s consider them.

Gravity. At first glance this is a possibility. Gravity works at the ranges observed after buying a new bit of kit. However gravity would not only attract clouds (and cats and small, sticky children) but everything else. I for one have not noticed attractive young ladies or bottles of beer orbiting my telescope.

And to kill this theory stone dead I have calculated* that a new telescope would have to weigh approx 0.7876 of a solar mass to account for the new kit/cloud attraction. Telescopes may feel this heavy when carrying them to observing site but this is solely due to the average astronomer being a bit of a wimp.

Strong/weak Nuclear force. I was off sick they day we did this at school so bear with me, but don’t these forces only work at very close range?

Dark matter/Dark energy. Ah-ha! Methinks we have found the culprit. Clouds are dark** so therefore clouds = dark matter. Telescopes work in the dark so there must be an energy at work here. (Yes I know it’s a bit of a leap of faith but it’s late and my whisky bottle is nearly empty) So the whole clouds/new telescope thingie is down to the interaction between dark energy and dark matter.

My train of thought got derailed at this point. Never mind. Academia here I come! :hello1:

*I had to take off both socks to calculate this.

**Yes ok some clouds are white. I’ll need another bottle of whisky to figure this one out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I discovered this in a word document this morning. I was wondering why until I discovered this thread. :wink:

Telescopes are not cloud magnets.

Magnetism only works at very short range. While this would be ok in the quantum universe of telescope/cloud attraction, in the Einsteinian universe the results of buying a new telescope obviously work at far greater range (I.E. at least 100 miles per inch of aperture) than magnetism could account for.

Other fundamental forces are at work here so let’s consider them.

Gravity. At first glance this is a possibility. Gravity works at the ranges observed after buying a new bit of kit. However gravity would not only attract clouds (and cats and small, sticky children) but everything else. I for one have not noticed attractive young ladies or bottles of beer orbiting my telescope.

And to kill this theory stone dead I have calculated* that a new telescope would have to weigh approx 0.7876 of a solar mass to account for the new kit/cloud attraction. Telescopes may feel this heavy when carrying them to observing site but this is solely due to the average astronomer being a bit of a wimp.

Strong/weak Nuclear force. I was off sick they day we did this at school so bear with me, but don’t these forces only work at very close range?

Dark matter/Dark energy. Ah-ha! Methinks we have found the culprit. Clouds are dark** so therefore clouds = dark matter. Telescopes work in the dark so there must be an energy at work here. (Yes I know it’s a bit of a leap of faith but it’s late and my whisky bottle is nearly empty) So the whole clouds/new telescope thingie is down to the interaction between dark energy and dark matter.

My train of thought got derailed at this point. Never mind. Academia here I come! :hello1:

*I had to take off both socks to calculate this.

**Yes ok some clouds are white. I’ll need another bottle of whisky to figure this one out.

there must have been a fair bit of whiskey to get this point! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Absolutely!. Every time I got a new scope it was cloudy for ages - the worse was with my first when it was cloudy for 3 weeks solid!! Drove me crazy. July 1999 in Yorshire weather was down to me - sorry.

With the bad weather on the way all I can think is that a lot of scopes must have been bought recently.

Scotastro

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.