Astronomy Jokes

[Ganymede12]

Does anybody know any astronomy jokes?

Lets try to avoid any that involve a certain gas giant

Q. How do astronomers see in the dark?

A. They use standard candles!

(I never said they had to be good jokes!)

[Stargazer_00]

:/

[Codmate]

Why wasn't the disturbed spiral galaxy let into the nightclub?

He had previously been barred

Thankyou thankyou, I'm here all night (observing)

[perrin6]

How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb ?

Only one 'cause they've got all night as it's ******* cloudy !

[Scosmico]

What does two black holes talk to each other?

Dark matters.

[Uranium235]

Where is the Lens cap, cloth and tissue?

Dunno... maybe you should ask him.

I'll get my coat...

[Champagnerocker]

This made me titter when i saw it last year

[Pig]

What did Mars say to Saturn ?

Give me a ring sometime

Why didnt the Sun go to school ?

Because it already has 3 million degrees

[nameunknown]

His ex girl-friend said .... "Copernicus, when are you going to realise that the world does not revolve around you."

[nameunknown]

Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see?

Watson replied: I see millions and millions of stars.

Holmes said: and what do you deduce from that?

Watson replied: Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.

And Holmes said: Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent!!

[ollypenrice]

'Astronomy by distance learning.' University of Central Lancashire.

Olly

[Stargazer_00]

How is the Star Trek Enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons

Muhahahahahahaha!!! Haahahahaahaha *runs away quickly and hides*

[Khw]

The holmes and Watson joke cracked me up ! Anymore mate ?

[Pig]

How do you organise a star party ?

You planet

[Andy McK]

[Andy McK]

[Naemeth]

The misappropriation of the word 'Astrology'. It used to mean something meaningful... now...

[m sutton]

A Physicist, an astronomer, a mathematician and a philosopher are walking one day through

Scotland when they come across a black sheep.

The astronomer says; "Scottish sheep are black."

The physicist says; "Back sheep are found in Scotland."

"No," says the mathematician, "all you can say from this is that from here, this particular

sheep, looks black"

The philosopher says; "I appear to be surrounded by entities that are making me do something that I imagine is called laughter".

[Stargazer_00]

A Physicist, an astronomer, a mathematician and a philosopher are walking one day through

Scotland when they come across a black sheep.

The astronomer says; "Scottish sheep are black."

The physicist says; "Back sheep are found in Scotland."

"No," says the mathematician, "all you can say from this is that from here, this particular

sheep, looks black"

The philosopher says; "I appear to be surrounded by entities that are making me do something that I imagine is called laughter".

Wouldnt the astronomer say "those looks like clouds"

[ollypenrice]

The Cloudy Nights forum announced that they were sending a manned expedition to the sun. An SGL member asked if they weren't worried about the heat? Nah, said Cloudy Nights, We'll be going at ...night.

Olly

[cotterless45]

How does the man in the Moon cut his hair ?

Eclipse it !

[Peter Drew]

Two blondes staring at the Moon. 1st blonde "which do you think is closest, the Moon or California?. 2nd blonde "doh, can you see California from here!"

[DaveS]

I thought astronomy *was* a joke. At least from here

[claire1985]

How is the Star Trek Enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons

Muhahahahahahaha!!! Haahahahaahaha *runs away quickly and hides*

Hahahahaha!!!!!!!

[Katen]

Anyone who was at the BBQ after last years astrofair at the NLO will understand when I say "Where is Will and his Astro joke book when he's needed"!