Jump to content

Stargazers Lounge Uses Cookies

Like most websites, SGL uses cookies in order to deliver a secure, personalised service, to provide social media functions and to analyse our traffic. Continued use of SGL indicates your acceptance of our cookie policy.

sgl_imaging_challenge_banner_dslr_mirrorlesss_winners.thumb.jpg.9deb4a8db27e7485a7bb99d98667c94e.jpg

Ganymede12

Astronomy Jokes

Recommended Posts

Does anybody know any astronomy jokes?

Lets try to avoid any that involve a certain gas giant ;)

Q. How do astronomers see in the dark?

A. They use standard candles!

(I never said they had to be good jokes!)

Edited by Ganymede12
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why wasn't the disturbed spiral galaxy let into the nightclub?

He had previously been barred :p

Thankyou thankyou, I'm here all night (observing) :)

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb ?

Only one 'cause they've got all night as it's ******* cloudy !

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What does two black holes talk to each other?

Dark matters.

Edited by Scosmico
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Where is the Lens cap, cloth and tissue?

Dunno... maybe you should ask him.

I'll get my coat...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What did Mars say to Saturn ?

Give me a ring sometime :grin:

Why didnt the Sun go to school ?

Because it already has 3 million degrees :grin:

Edited by Pig
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

His ex girl-friend said .... "Copernicus, when are you going to realise that the world does not revolve around you."

  • Like 4
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see?

Watson replied: I see millions and millions of stars.

Holmes said: and what do you deduce from that?

Watson replied: Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.

And Holmes said: Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent!!

  • Like 13

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How is the Star Trek Enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons

Muhahahahahahaha!!! Haahahahaahaha *runs away quickly and hides*

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The holmes and Watson joke cracked me up ! Anymore mate ?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How do you organise a star party ?

You planet :shocked:

Edited by Pig
  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The misappropriation of the word 'Astrology'. It used to mean something meaningful... now...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A Physicist, an astronomer, a mathematician and a philosopher are walking one day through

Scotland when they come across a black sheep.

The astronomer says; "Scottish sheep are black."

The physicist says; "Back sheep are found in Scotland."

"No," says the mathematician, "all you can say from this is that from here, this particular

sheep, looks black"

The philosopher says; "I appear to be surrounded by entities that are making me do something that I imagine is called laughter".

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A Physicist, an astronomer, a mathematician and a philosopher are walking one day through

Scotland when they come across a black sheep.

The astronomer says; "Scottish sheep are black."

The physicist says; "Back sheep are found in Scotland."

"No," says the mathematician, "all you can say from this is that from here, this particular

sheep, looks black"

The philosopher says; "I appear to be surrounded by entities that are making me do something that I imagine is called laughter".

Wouldnt the astronomer say "those looks like clouds"

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Cloudy Nights forum announced that they were sending a manned expedition to the sun. An SGL member asked if they weren't worried about the heat? Nah, said Cloudy Nights, We'll be going at ...night.

Olly

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Two blondes staring at the Moon. 1st blonde "which do you think is closest, the Moon or California?. 2nd blonde "doh, can you see California from here!" :smiley:

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought astronomy *was* a joke. At least from here :huh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
How is the Star Trek Enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons

Muhahahahahahaha!!! Haahahahaahaha *runs away quickly and hides*

Hahahahaha!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Anyone who was at the BBQ after last years astrofair at the NLO will understand when I say "Where is Will and his Astro joke book when he's needed"!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.