Astro Limericks, anyone?

[Captain Caveman]

Now, I have a pair of binos

That I rest on the end of my nose

I sit in the dark

On the bench in the park

And stare at the sky with the winos

[Tim]

Now I have a pair of binos

That I rest on the end of my nose

I sit in the dark

On the bench in the park

And stare at the sky with the winos

Excellent!

[ollypenrice]

^^ Agreed! Splendid!

Olly

[Beulah]

I love Limericks - great thread.

This isn't one of my own..

“There was a Neutrino named Bright

Who could travel much faster than light.

It took off one day,

In a relative way,

And returned on the previous night.”

[Ptarmigan]

Chicken Licken was not an astronomer

understood not, that it was a misnomer

to say that the sky

was falling in.

But she fought bravely at the battle of Khytomer.

Q'pla.

Not quite a Limerick, but translating from Klingon is not easy

[661-pete]

I REALLY tried to rhyme uranus with orifice but couldn't get it to work

I think I can oblige....

Old Bill Herschel dubbed his great find, "Uranus",

When he'd had quite enough of endurin' us,

Having shelved his own name,

"Georgian Planet" - the same,

What he failed to spot: rhymes with "your ****"....

[foundaplanet]

He ferrets around in the snow

Even when it's twenty below

Whilst she's inside preening

He's looking for meaning

And freezing his nuts for a photo

[Andy McK]

Not stricktly astronomical, but i do think quite comical.

There was a young man from Preston

Who wanted to drive to Heston

So he followed the signs, that didn't rhyme

and crashed into an articulated lorry.

[ollypenrice]

The Tardis I tell you with sorrow

Was wheel clamped in some dismal boro'

The girl on the line

Who dealt with fine

Said when did you park it? Tomorrow?

(With apologies to a brilliant Dead Ringers sketch a few years ago...)

And to celebrate Einstein's birthday*

The cosmsos's secrets he bared

With space and with time all ensnared;

'I tell you again

I just used an M

Plus an E and a C which I squared.'

Olly

*Which is not today.

[Bigdaddyjeff]

If time stood still it would tock tick

Then I could pen a limerick

But until that does happen

I'll stay here a laughin

And balance my mount with that brick

[sanmatt]

I wanna get out me scope,

so I look up to the skies and hope

The skies are beaut

so I get out me Newt

and the clouds roll in...

(I suck at this!)

[Macavity]

There was a young fellow named Cox

Who seemed omnipresent on t'box

Wi' matters "New Age"

In a permanent rage

But apparent appeal via his locks! (hair)

Best rendered in an Oldham accent?

[Captain Caveman]

We all feel a bit of a dope

When starting our first thread "Which scope?"

"Go buy a huge dob

And get a new job

Coz you're starting a slippery slope"

[mrphildog]

It's too bight here to see the big dipper

'cos the neighbours all fear jack the ripper

So the streetlights glow bright

And they shine through the night

So I go back inside to my slippers.

[Glen]

there was a man who had trouble,

spending ages to split a good double,

sod it he said , it's planets instead

musing the keys to Hubble.

[Brent]

I've had a go at collimation,

It's proving a real irritation,

Cheshire view looks alright,

So I point at a sight,

Oh, I give up! in sheer agitation.

[Brent]

I need a new mount, 'cause I shout,

As my EQ3-2 sways about,

Used EQ6 would be great,

Though I'd be much too late,

Need consent from my wife or look out!

[rocketandroll]

There was a young man with a scope

who lived on a prayer and a hope

That the observing he done

was going to be fun

Until he observed an unfiltered Sun.

That should end with the line "...what a dope!"

Ok, got to have a stab...

There once was a man from Stroud

who bought a scope of which he was proud

It cost quite a lot

not that it mattered a jot

since then he's been shrouded in cloud

aaaaaaaai thank you.

Ben

[Brent]

I need to go buy some new kit,

'Cause the stuff that I have is all ****,

I wish I weren't broke,

As I'd love some bespoke,

I begged FLO but they won't give me it!

[mrphildog]

A photon was finally allowed

To escape from a star and fly proud

Through the ages it skates to where a telescope waits

But it ended it's life on a cloud

[Brent]

A photon was finally allowed

To escape from a star and fly proud

Through the ages it skates to where a telescope waits

But it ended it's life on a cloud

Haha, that's excellent!

[Captain Caveman]

My latest ditty is called "n+1"

My scopes seem to have an omission

Can't win over the wife through attrition

I'll fork out a packet

And put up with her racket

Foregiveness is easier than permission

*Optimum number of scopes =n+1

n= number of scopes you currently own

[mrphildog]

Haha, that's excellent!

Cheers.

[MjrTom]

This is a brilliant thread keep it up guys

(Won't even attempt myself!)

[barkis]

"At midnight I'm out with the scope,

with pollution round here there's no hope,

There's more stars on TV,

Than I'll ever see,

Put Corrie on, that's my favourite soap".

From the Wife, not me.

Ron.