February 3rd, 2012

There are certain people that fill us with resentment and make us shrink into a world where battery acid pulses through our veins. Of course, one understands that such a negative power is controlled entirely by you. Although you are the only one that can stop the unbelievable crippling sensation, sometimes it seems much easier to do nothing and let it fester. Yeah, one therefore creates their own suffering.

"It comes from others!" you scream! "I wouldn't be like this if she/he would be more understanding and less cruel!" That maybe true but resentment is a feeling you create and is simply a matter of perspective right?

This astronomy journal is undeniable proof that resentment lies only in the eyes of the individual that nurtures it. You see, I hold a grudge against Mars.

This feeling developed slowly throughout my stargazing experiences. One by one, I "captured" different planets in my eyepiece and each one filled me with awe! First there was Venus which was quickly followed by Saturn and then the majestic Jupiter. Seeing Mercury and Uranus were also a mesmerizing experiences since both were more elusive (one so close to the sun and the other farther away).

Then there was Mars,..

Mars has yet to fill me with any excitement. After reading so much on the planet, I expected so much more from what my eyepiece shared with me the first time. All I saw was a red blur! Unfortunately, nothing has changed since that first encounter. It's not the telescope or my stargazing prowess that's at fault but circumstances beyond anyone's control. Time (I had professional restraints which kept me bound to my computer), an orbit that doesn't coincide with my viewing pleasure, bad collimation because of a lack of adequate tools, clouds, being too close to the horizon and,... more clouds. Last night I told myself that nothing would stop me! I set up eagerly, making a serious attempt to forgive the misdeeds of yesterday.

"My efforts will be in vain." I told myself as I set up and checked the status of my weather station module. The humidity was at 86% while the mercury boasted -26. Once outside, this translated to extreme condensation. I thought that maybe I could see "just enough",.. No. Once again, it was a big blurry mess and absolutely no detail could be seen. I would have settled for so little yet, my efforts were ignored once more.

My failure has nothing to do with the red planet. However,

being foiled for so long by a heavenly body

bright red, an arrogance bordering on snotty

so easily seen with the unaided eye

deeply insults my proud Dobsonian and I.

Isabelle